Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
