i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
