So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
