I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
