i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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