This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
