Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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