Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize