Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
