i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
