You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
