As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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