That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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