You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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