You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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