I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
