stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
