Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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