its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
