Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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