I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You need a sexual gate keeper
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
