If that was your dad, he is hot
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
jump out the window naked night went bad
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
