like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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