i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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