I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
