I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
