it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
