If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
