how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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