is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
