whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
