i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
be right there i have to get my cape
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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