My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
