Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
