Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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