...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
