he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
