dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize