i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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