you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
