Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
