worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
