fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
