You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
