5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Actions speak louder than pants.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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