my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
