This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
