just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
