dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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