i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
