i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
