I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
