on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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