Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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