I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
