Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
