the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
