dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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