I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
