whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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