how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
babies were throwing up all over the place
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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