he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
