he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
