You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize