i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
